Pregnancy wasn’t a part of your plan.  

Telling your partner about an unexpected pregnancy can cause a lot of anxiety, especially if you don’t know how they will react. Just know you’re not alone.  

Here are a few helpful tips on how to tell your partner that you’re unexpectedly pregnant.  

How do I tell my partner about an unexpected pregnancy?  

1. Confirm you’re pregnant first 

It is a good idea to confirm your pregnancy before you have a conversation with your partner. Sometimes pregnancy symptoms and at-home pregnancy tests aren’t accurate. The best way to confirm you’re pregnant is to see a medical provider. 

Parkville Women’s Clinic offers free, confidential medical-grade urine pregnancy tests that are 99% accurate, as well as ultrasounds.  

Confirm your pregnancy by scheduling an appointment today. 

2. Figure out what you’re feeling 

3. Plan to tell your partner in person  

Communicating in person will eliminate misunderstandings and help you both process this information together.  

Pick a time and place that is private and allows time to talk through both of your feelings together. Don’t share that you’re pregnant when you both are rushing out the door or in a bad mood. 

Try to use words that don’t put all the responsibility on yourself. You both were a part of making this pregnancy possible. When you share the news, you can use phrases like, “We’re pregnant” or “We’re having a baby”. This communicates that this situation requires both of you to accept and respond to it. 

4. Be open and honest 

It’s important to be fully open and honest with your partner about how you are feeling. Tell him your worries and what you would like to do about the pregnancy. Tell him that you really value his true feelings and opinions and want his input. 

5. Give space for his reaction  

Give him time to process this information. Remember you’ve had some time to process this information…this is his first time hearing it. 

If he responds negatively, give him some space. His initial reaction might not be true to what his intentions and feelings towards the pregnancy are long-term. Avoid arguing. 

If the conversation starts to escalate or you feel threatened in any way, remove yourself from the situation. 

Even if he doesn’t come around to the same conclusion as you, it will still be okay. Your support system doesn’t be just your partner. Family and friends are a great support system to lean on. Our staff at Parkville Women’s Clinic is also here to be of support. 

6. Discuss next steps together 

If you want your partner to be involved in this pregnancy, talk about what the next steps might look like. Discuss what you envision the future to look like and what you are going to do to get there. Maybe your next steps can look like telling your parents together or having him attend your future appointments.  

If your partner is pressuring you to get an abortion but you aren’t sure, read how to handle this situation here.  

A great next step is to visit Parkville Women’s Clinic to discuss your pregnancy options and possible resources.